How Our Thoughts Shape Feelings and the Energy Around Us

As a parent, you’ve probably seen it: your daughter wakes up in a good mood, humming in the kitchen, and suddenly the whole house feels lighter. Other times, she may come home from school upset, and that energy spreads quickly too. What’s happening here isn’t just “mood swings”—it’s the powerful connection between thoughts, feelings, and the energy we carry with us.

The other day, a mom shared with me a story about her daughter, Emma, a seventh grader. Emma came home from school upset after not being picked for a group project by her friends. She slammed her backpack down, stormed into her room, and told her mom, “No one likes me. I don’t have any real friends.”

In that moment, Emma’s thought—“No one likes me”—triggered her whole body to feel rejected and sad. Her chest felt heavy, her energy dropped, and she didn’t want to talk to anyone. Soon, the house felt tense too.

This is exactly what Dr. Joe Dispenza explains in his book Becoming Supernatural: our thoughts don’t just stay in our heads—they create chemical changes in the body that turn into feelings. Those feelings then shape the “energy” we carry and share with the world around us.

The next morning, Emma’s mom gently reminded her, “Your thought yesterday made you feel sad. But was it completely true? You do have friends—sometimes kids just make choices that hurt, even if they don’t mean to.”

Together, they practiced a new thought: “I still have good friends, even if today hurt.”

At first, Emma resisted—it felt too hard to believe. But after repeating it a few times and remembering other times her friends included her, she started to relax. Her body felt lighter, her mood lifted, and by the time she got to school, she was smiling again.

The shift wasn’t magic—it was science.

• Thought: “No one likes me.”
• Feeling: sadness, loneliness, heaviness.
• Energy: withdrawn, tense, closed off.

Then:

• New Thought: “I still have good friends, even if today was rough.”
• Feeling: calmer, open, hopeful.
• Energy: lighter, more connected, more approachable.

As parents, one of the best gifts we can give our daughters is to teach them this link between thoughts, feelings, and energy. Here are a few simple ways to practice at home:

How to Help Your Daughter Shift Her Energy

1. Pause and name the thought. Ask, “What thought is making you feel this way?”
2. Check for truth. Gently help her see if it’s 100% true—or if there might be another way to see it.
3. Practice a new thought. Even something small, like “I can try again tomorrow” or “I’m learning who my real friends are.”
4. Notice the change. Encourage her to pay attention to how her body feels different after the new thought.

When your daughter learns that her thoughts shape her feelings, and her feelings shape the energy around her, she begins to realize she’s not stuck. She has the power to shift her inner world—and in turn, the world she shares with others.

And as parents, we can guide her through it—not by fixing everything, but by helping her see her own strength.

The author explains this in a way that’s both scientific and practical. He shares how our thoughts create real chemical changes in the body, which then shape how we feel and how we show up in the world. In simple terms:

1. Thoughts come first.
When your daughter thinks, “No one likes me” or “I’m not good at this,” her brain doesn’t just keep it as a thought—it signals the body to release chemicals that create feelings of sadness, stress, or anxiety.

2. Feelings follow.
Those chemicals shift her mood. She might feel tight in her chest, have less energy, or withdraw from others. The thought has now become a feeling.

3. Energy spreads outward.
Emotions aren’t invisible. People around us can sense them. Just like laughter feels contagious, so can worry, frustration, or calmness. Your daughter’s inner state creates an outer “energy” that influences her relationships, her focus at school, and even her health.

The good news is—this works in both directions. When she practices new, more helpful thoughts like “I can handle this” or “I’m learning and growing,” her brain sends signals that create calmer, happier feelings. Over time, she not only changes how she feels inside but also the energy she brings to her friends, her family, and herself.

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Simple Steps To Cultivate Awareness and Cue the Shift

Step 1: Name the Thought

When she’s upset, try saying:

• “I hear that you’re feeling really sad. What thought is running through your mind right now?”
• “If you had to put the feeling into words, what’s the story you’re telling yourself?”

Step 2: Check the Truth

Gently question the thought with kindness, not correction:

• “Is it true no one likes you? Or is it that today your friends made a choice that hurt?”
• “If your best friend was thinking this thought, what would you tell her?”

Step 3: Offer a New, Balanced Thought

You don’t need to make it overly positive—just more balanced and hopeful. For example:

• Instead of “No one likes me,” try “I have some friends who care about me, even if today felt hard.”
• Instead of “I’ll never get this right,” try “I’m still learning, and mistakes are part of it.”

You can say:

• “Let’s see if we can come up with a different thought that feels a little lighter.”

Step 4: Notice the Shift

Help her pay attention to how her body and mood respond.

• “How does your chest or stomach feel when you think the new thought?”
• “Do you notice your energy feels a little lighter?”

Step 5: Model It Yourself

Children learn best by watching. The next time you catch yourself in a stressful thought, try saying it out loud:

• “I was thinking, ‘I’ll never get this done.’ No wonder I felt tense. I’m going to shift it to, ‘I’ll take it one step at a time.’ That feels calmer already.”

Why This Matters

When your daughter learns this skill, she realizes she isn’t powerless against her moods. She can see that:

• Thoughts → Feelings → Energy.
  And by changing her thoughts, she can change how she feels and the energy she brings into her relationships and home.

This simple practice, when repeated over time, helps middle school girls build resilience, confidence, and emotional awareness—the very tools they need to thrive through these years.

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